Sunday, 20 March 2016

Six Nations 2016 - Champs & Chumps

So here we are again. Another year, another Six Nations done and dusted. Not a vintage year by any means, and our friends in the Southern Hemisphere will hardly be quaking in their boots as a result of the rugby on show. Nevertheless, a Grand Slam is a Grand Slam and, given what happened last Autumn, the England players can quite rightly feel moderately pleased with themselves.



So here are the TF Champs & Chumps of the 2016 Six Nations:

CHAMPS

15. STUART HOGG – getting better and better each season.
14. ANTHONY WATSON - increasingly dangerous with ball in hand and flawless under the high ball.
13. MICHELE CAMPAGNARO – if the rest of the Italian backs could reach this guy's standard they might be in business.
12. OWEN FARRELL - I said he'd be rubbish at 12. What the hell do I know?
11. GEORGE NORTH - back to his best.
10. JOHNNY SEXTON – classiest 10 on view by some distance.
9. CONNOR MURRAY - consistent excellence.
1. JACK McGRATH – cemented his reputation as a fine loosehead and looks a shoe-in for the Lions next year.
2. GUILHEM GUIRADO – France's best player by a country mile.
3. WP NEL – without him Scotland simply don't have a scrummage, he's that good.
4. MARO ITOJE– wow, what a start to an international career. A star is born.
5. GEORGE KRUIS – quietly but mightily effective in the England engine room.
6. CHRIS ROBSHAW – redemption on the blindside for England's former skipper.
7. CJ STAMPER – a major force in the Irish back row.
8. BILLY VUNIPOLA – huge impact, huge work rate, player of the tournament.

CHUMPS

15. LUKE McLEAN - barely looked interested.
14. ALEX CUTHBERT - on current form he'd struggle to make my son's Under 13 team.
13. JONATHAN DANTY - a poor man's Bastareaud?
12. KELLY HAIMONA - makes Luke McLean look keen.
11. SEAN LAMONT - one paced and ineffective.
10. JULES PLISSON - comic genius - must have had a tenner on George North to score the first try against France in Cardiff.
9. SEBASTIEN BEZY - all the organisation and control of a headless chicken.
1. JOE MARLER – almost missed a Grand Slam decider through pure idiocy and likely to face further sanctions.
2. ROSS FORD - minimal impact for such a big man.
3. TOMAS FRANCIS – tried to defend his assault on Dan Cole's face on the basis that he had his eyes closed. Muppet.
4. COURTNEY LAWES - lacking impact and now a few rungs down the England 2nd row ladder.
5. YOANN MAESTRI - got away with a thuggish attack on Sexton and has taken over the mantle of 6N Pantomime Villain from Big Jim Hamilton.
6. SAM WARBURTON- poor on both sides of the scrum this 6N until knocked out against England.
7. ALESSANDRO ZANNI - career appears to be on a downward trajectory.
8. DAVID DENTON - makes headless chickens look as if they are all part of a cunning masterplan.


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