Saturday, 13 February 2016

The Secret Diary of Jack Nowell’s Barnet (2016)

Hi there.

Jack Nowell's beautiful barnet here - back after a hiatus of 2 years - still stuck inside Jack's stinking, hideous scrum-cap.

I had hoped that by now my adoring fans would have risen up and demanded my release but, alas, no. I remain incarcerated, hidden way from the public's gaze, imprisoned against my will inside that blue eyesore.

Young Jack tells me I should be happy that he hasn't gone all sensible and opted for the hipster look - all shaved back and sides and bushy beard like that delightful chap Haskell - and that I should be grateful that he now at least allows my rat-tail to poke out somewhat apologetically from inside the scrum-cap.

I suppose he's right. It's probably only a matter of time before he grows up and becomes respectable. Perhaps I ought to be satisfied with my lot.

But NO! Let's be honest here - I AM BEAUTIFUL and I demand RESPECT!

Come on people, write to the RFU, email your local MP, text the Queen - and SET ME FREE!!!

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