Saturday, 13 February 2016

The Secret Diary of Jack Nowell’s Barnet (2016)

Hi there.

Jack Nowell's beautiful barnet here - back after a hiatus of 2 years - still stuck inside Jack's stinking, hideous scrum-cap.

I had hoped that by now my adoring fans would have risen up and demanded my release but, alas, no. I remain incarcerated, hidden way from the public's gaze, imprisoned against my will inside that blue eyesore.

Young Jack tells me I should be happy that he hasn't gone all sensible and opted for the hipster look - all shaved back and sides and bushy beard like that delightful chap Haskell - and that I should be grateful that he now at least allows my rat-tail to poke out somewhat apologetically from inside the scrum-cap.

I suppose he's right. It's probably only a matter of time before he grows up and becomes respectable. Perhaps I ought to be satisfied with my lot.

But NO! Let's be honest here - I AM BEAUTIFUL and I demand RESPECT!

Come on people, write to the RFU, email your local MP, text the Queen - and SET ME FREE!!!

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Happy Retirement POC

Good luck to Paul O'Connell who, having failed to recover from a serious hamstring injury sustained at the RWC, today announced his retirement from the game.

A true legend of the game and one of the greatest international lock forwards of all time, POC is rightly revered by Munster fans in particular, my personal favourite quip about him being:

Q: What colour is Paul O Connell’s blood?
A: Trick question. Paul O Connell does not bleed.

J

Monday, 8 February 2016

Six Nations round 1 - Verdict


So here’s the official TF verdict on round 1 of the 2016 RBS Six Nations:

ENGLAND – hardly a brave new world. Unspectacular, effective and a familiar propensity for giving away stupid penalties.

SCOTLAND – apparently the best side Scotland have had for years. The players clearly didn’t get the memo.

WALES – Warrenball 2.0. Plenty of bish. Lots of bosh. Subtle it wasn’t.

IRELAND – could easily have folded when faced with the Welsh 2nd half onslaught but held firm - encouraging, considering the experience missing from the team.

FRANCE – may one day discover that exciting, running rugby and robust forward play are not mutually exclusive. When that day comes, watch out.

ITALY – there’s only so often one can commend Italy’s bravery. Ultimately bottled the chance to beat France in Paris.

Team of round 1: 

15. Medard (Fr) 14. Nowell (Eng) 13. Campagnaro (It) 12. Roberts (Wal) 11. Vakatawa (Fr) 10. Priestland (Wal) 9. Murray (Ire) 1. McGrath (Ire) 2. Hartley (Eng) 3. Lee (Wal) 4. Kruis (Eng) 5. Biagi (Ita) 6. Stander (Ire) 7. Hardie (Sco) 8. B. Vunipola (Eng).

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Aye, aye, Cap'n Jack

My verdict on week one of Six Nations 2016 can come later - I'll just make do with this for now…



Chapeau: Rugby Banter Page

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Out of My League

Time once more to pick a Fantasy 6N team…

h


CLICK HERE, register, pick your team and enter League code 1262791-31244 to enter 'Out of My League'.

Just a bit of fun...

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Goggle it

World Rugby (aka the artist formerly known as the IRB) has recently announced that it is trialling “Rugby Goggles” in an effort to allow players who need to wear corrective lenses to do so safely while playing rugby.

The Rugby Goggles, manufactured by Italian company Raleri, have apparently undergone a series of rigorous tests designed to ensure that they are as safe as possible for use on the pitch.

Reports that there are also plans to trial post-match “Beer Goggles” appear wide of the mark, although an RFU spokesperson has confirmed that a proposal to introduce an England “rose-tinted” version of the Rugby Goggles is under consideration.