Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Meanwhile…at HQ...

Meanwhile, at Twickenham, it is rumoured that the RFU has commissioned Canterbury to produce an ingenious new kit for the fixtures against Scotland and France.

The new kit will be designed to mimic the properties of the pictured dress.

Is the dress (as is obvious to this blogger) white and gold, or is it in fact (as many might tell you) blue and black?

It's a question that has been debated long and hard on social media in the past week and it seems as if some bright spark at the RFU has decided to put it to England's advantage.

"With the penalty count against us in Dublin being unacceptable, we're hoping the new kit might help," an RFU insider confided.

"We think that the colour perception issue will create confusion among the opposition and the referee, with a number of them, including hopefully the referee, confusing white kit with blue kit with the result that England's transgressions at the breakdown will go entirely unnoticed."

When it was pointed out that the new kit might also cause similar confusion in the England team our RFU source admitted that he hadn't thought of that, but confirmed that it couldn't be any worse than it was in Dublin.

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Warrenball vs Gaelic Football - WRU cash in

With the prospect of fans being treated to Warrenball vs Gaelic Football at the Millennium Stadium in the next round of the Six Nations, it appears that the WRU have decided to cash in.

Yes, these rather natty branded neck braces will be available to both Welsh and Irish rugby fans from all good sports retailers in Cardiff, and no doubt one or two rubbish ones too.

Saturday, 28 February 2015

Going up?

The debate around scrapping promotion and relegation from the English Premiership misses the point.

The starting point of any discussion should be the question of how many professional clubs can the professional game in England realistically sustain.

Once that is decided a properly thought out funding structure can be put in place which needs to rectify the current inequitable and disproportionate funding arrangements which appear designed to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

I won’t be holding my breath.

Friday, 27 February 2015

Things that make me snigger #3

Need for speed?

According to “Rugby a Charges, l’enquete choc” - a new book by French journalist Pierre Ballester - French players were all on amphetamines during the 1980s, including during the infamous “Battle of Nantes” against the All Blacks in 1986.

“They each had their little pill in front of their plates for the meal before the match,” French team doctor of the time, Jacques Mombet, is quoted as saying.

All of which begs the question - what are the current French team taking – Diazepam?

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Six Nations: Weekend 2 (belated) observations

ENGLAND: Often sloppy and complacent, occasionally ruthless and deadly. More of the latter please.

ITALY: The first international team to field an 18 stone outside half since Andy Goode donned the white shirt of England.

IRELAND: Superb performance from possibly the world's best 10 but still never really looked like crossing the whitewash. Nevertheless, very worried about Dublin.

FRANCE: Back in bleu, but can someone please explain what on earth has happened to French joie de vivre?

WALES: I'm now quite bored with Warrenball.

SCOTLAND: Blew it.

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

England to replace Jonny May with mascot

It emerged today that Stuart Lancaster is considering retaining mascot Harry Westlake in the England squad to face Ireland in Dublin next week.

The six year old from Plymouth made such an impression during the national anthem against Italy at Twickenham last Saturday that Lancaster has told his coaches that retaining the mascot in the squad is a 'no-brainer'.

"Even a six year old would have scored that," Lancaster is reported to have said when describing Jonny May's butchering of a first half chance against Italy, and it is believed that May's position may be the one under threat from the pint-sized Devonian.

Although the story has been dismissed as "ridiculous" by RFU insiders, the fact that England are considering calling up Alex Goode to replace the concussed Mike Brown would suggest otherwise.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Royal Kituro 356 Soignies 3

This has been doing the rounds on t'interweb today.

Yes, the above score is a genuine result from Belgium’s top division in a match in which Royal Kituro scored 56 tries and 38 conversions to Soignies' one drop goal.

Apparently the Soignies coach and several players had disappeared before kick of, assuming the game was off as the match referee had failed to turn up. When he did eventually did arrive more than an hour late the 16 remaining Soignies players were effectively forced to play, although "play" isn't really an accurate description of what the Soignies players actually did…

Bizarrely, despite the result, Soignies still sit above Royal Kituro in the league, albeit now with a points difference of minus 264.

I'm sure I'm not the only one to wonder how on earth they scored 3?

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Six Nations: Weekend 1 observations

A few observations after the first three games:

ENGLAND: Surprised all but themselves. The Hask is reborn.

WALES: Came out late at the start of the match. Didn't come out at all after half time.

ITALY: Potentially a very long tournament ahead for the Azzuri.

IRELAND: Next week against France will tell us more.

FRANCE: France…wearing red…no. Just, no.

SCOTLAND: Thanks to Finn Russell the dark days of Dan Parks seem a distant memory.

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Top Welsh defender "gutted"

The RBS rugby post pad at the Millennium Stadium admitted his disappointment at failing to prevent an English victory in Cardiff last night.

Despite pulling off an heroic try-saving tackle on England flanker James Haskell, the post pad was unable to stop tries from Anthony Watson and Jonathan Joseph.

"I'm not going to lie to you, I did my best," he said, "but to be fair I did struggle to get into position to make the other tackles."